Tumblebrutus on the Pipe
by MungoTeazer
Summary: Jellicles put on Fiddler on the Roof! Featuring couples such as SkimbleJenny, MungoTeazer (who'd a thunk it?), MistoLeccy and MunkuJemi um... oh yeah rated for later chapters. Now featuring crazy glue AND a notebook!
1. DisclaimerBast, not another play!

Tumblebrutus on the Pipe

Ok if I owned CATS do you really think I'd be writing fanfic about them??? I don't own cats and I don't own Fiddler on the Roof, I own my DVDs and some microwave popcorn. That's about it. As always, I'm using the video cast of Cats and this doesn't exactly follow Fiddler on the Roof. Whatcha want me to do? Memorize it? Nyeh, I just remember a few things here and there. Anyhoos, lets just get on with it! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Misto: Uh-oh, I don't like the looks of this. 

Alonzo: ... huh? 

Misto: Read the title, she's making us do another musical! 

Cats: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: Oh shuttup and read the cast list 


	2. Cast list

Cast List 

(I probably butchered the spellings of the names here but...) 

FOTR nameCat playing themCharacter name 

Tevye-Skimbleshanks-Skevye

Golde-Jennyanydots-Jolde

Tzietl-Rumpleteazer-Rietl

Hodel-Electra-Hodeltra

Chavah-Jemima-Javah

Sphrintze-Victoria-Vrintze

Bielke-Etcetera-Bielcetera

Motel Camzoil-Mungojerrie-Moteljerrie Camzoil

Perchik-Mistofolees-Merchik

Fyedka-Munkustrap-Myedka

Yente-Jellylorum-Jente

Lazar-Wolfe-Asparagus (Junior)-Lasparagus-Wolfe

Rabbi-Asparagus (Senior)-Rabbi

Mendel-Rum Tum Tugger-Tendel

Sasha-Alonzo-Sashzo

Fruma-Sarah-Bombalurina-Bruma-Larah

Grandmother Tzietl-Demeter-Grandmother Rietl

Constable-Plato-Constable

Fiddler-Tumblebrutus-Fiddler

Avruhm-Coricopat-Cavruhm

Rumuffel-Pouncival-Rumival

Anatevka-yans/Pollicles/Zombie people (male):

Pouncival 

Tumblebrutus 

Alonzo 

Rum Tum Tugger 

Coricopat 

Admetus 

Plato

Anatevka-yans/Zombie people (female):

Bombalurina 

Demeter 

Cassandra 

Tantomile 

Victoria 

Etcetera 


	3. Tradition and an injury Tumblebrutus won...

*open mouth stares* 

  
Jemi:... You made my name 'Javah!' 

Alonzo: WHY IN THE NAME OF BAST DID YOU SPLICE THE NAMES!?!?!?!?!?!!? 

MT: *shrugs* I dunno, I felt like it! Guys just go and get over the name issue. K? Go! 

*Silhouette of Tumble standing on the pipe in the junkyard* 

Tumble: *scratches out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on a violin* 

Cats: MY EARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Misto: Why'd ya let him do that!?! 

MT: None of your buisiness! Get on with it! 

Tumble: Uh-oh *slips* Ahh!!!!! *falls off pipe* 

MT: *sighs* Skimble get out here. 

Skevye: A tumblebrutus on the pipe. Sounds crazy, no? But here in our little junkyard of Anatevka, you might say that every one of us is a Tumblebrutus on a pipe. Trying to scratch (and I mean SCRATCH) out a pleasant (matter of opinion) simple (you got that right) tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy! You may ask, why do we stay up ther if it's so dangerous? Well, we stay because Anatevka is our home. And how do we keep our balance up there? That, I can tell you in one word: Tradition! 

Town: Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Skevye: Because of our traditions, we've kept our balance for many years. Here in Anatevka we have traditions for everything. How to sleep, how to work. Even how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered, and we wear these little prayer... collars... This shows our constant devotion to Bast. you may ask, how did this tradition get started? Well I'll tell you... I don't know. 

Bomba: Well you're just a font of information aren't you? 

MT: Shuttup Bomba! 

Skevye: But It's a tradition! Our traditions tell cats who they are and what Bast expects them to do. 

Pappas (bass chorus): Who day and night must scramble for a living 

Feed a queen and kittens 

Say his daily prayers 

And who has the right as master of the house 

Gus (Snr): *sings 'Master of the House'* 

MT: Gus! You're not even in this parody! 

  
Gus: Yes I am! I'm the rabbi! 

MT: *scans list* Fine, but please felines! NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS!!!!! 

Pouncie: More interruptions? Ok! 

MT: Poun...cie.... 

Pouncie: *angel face* yes? 

MT: *sighs* never mind. Guys just go! 

Pappas: to have the final word at home 

Chorus: The pappa! 

The pappa! 

Tradition! 

The pappa! 

The pappa! 

Tradition! 

Mammas (alto chorus): Who must know the way to make a proper home? 

A quiet home? 

A Kosher home? 

Who must raise a family and run the home? 

So pappa's free to read the Holy Book? 

Chorus: The mamma! 

The mamma! 

Tradition! 

The mamma! 

The mamma! 

Tradition! 

Sons (tenor chorus): At three I started Hebrew school 

At ten I learned a trade 

I hear they picked a bride for me I hope 

She's 

Pouncie: *loudly* NOT DEM!!!!! 

Deme: I heard that you little twerp! 

Pouncie: Aw cram it brillo-head! 

Deme: You're stealing insults from Boy Meets World*!?!?! 

Pouncie: You're stealing grooming tips from Macavity!?!?! 

Mungo: *jumps awake* Wot, oi didn't stoil anythin! Oi swear eet wosn't moi! *immediately falls back asleep, snoring* 

Rumple: Well... tho was uncharacteristic. 'Ee usually tikes oll tha credit!!!! 

MT: Guys please just get back to the song! 

Chorus: The sons! 

The sons! 

Tradition! 

The sons! 

The sons! 

Tradition! 

Daughters (soprano chorus): And who does mamma teach? 

To mend and tend and fix? 

Preparing me to marry 

Whoever papa picks? 

Chorus: The daughters! 

The daughters! 

Tradition! 

The daughters! 

The daughters! 

Tradition! 

Pappas: (their little part thingie) The pappas! 

Mammas: (their part) The mammas! 

Sons: (their part) The sons! 

Daughters: (their part) The daughters! 

All: Tradition! 

Skevye: And in the circle of our little village, we have our special types. For instance: Jente the matchmaker! 

Jente: Cavruhm, I found the perfect match for your son. A lovely girl! 

Cavruhm: Well, who is it? 

Jente: Rucchel, the shoemakers daughter! 

Cavruhm: Rucchel!?! She can hardly see! She's practically blind! 

Jente: Now tell the truth Cavruhm, is your son so much to look at? With the way she sees and the way he looks it's a perfect match! 

Cavruhm: * _ * 

Skevye: Ramival, the begger! 

Ramival: Alms for the poor! Alms for the poor? 

MT: Tugger, just do this part 

Tugger (i/c): Here's one polpek. 

Ramival: One polpek? Last week you gave me two polpek! 

Tugger (o/c): Bug off! 

MT: * _ * 

Tugger (o/c): fine 

(i/c): I had a bad week 

Ramival: So, you had a bad week? Why should I suffer? 

Skevye: And of course, our beloved Rabbi! 

Tendel: Rabbi! Is there a proper blessing for the Pollicles? 

Rabbi: Certainly my kit! May Bast bless and keep the Pollicles.... far away from us! 

Toms (i/c): *monotonous* ha ha ha... what a funny joke. 

MT: gu-uys... * _* 

Toms: *gulp* 

Skevye: Then there are the others. They make up a much larger circle. *Plato and the other toms walk by in the pollicle conga-line thing* 

We don't bother them, and so far, they don't bother us. 

  
Pouncie: *in conga-line, flicks Skimble's ear* 

Skimble: Pouncie... 

Skevye: But in our own circle, we've always gotten along fine. Of course there was that one time when he sold him a mule and told him it was a horse! But that's all settled and now we live in simple peace and harmony. *to Alonzo* It was a mule. 

Alonzo: (i/c) It was a horse! 

Admetus: (i/c) It was a mule! 

*general arguing between the town* 

Town: Horse! 

Mule! 

Horse! 

Mule! 

Horse! 

Mule 

Horse! 

Mule! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Tradition! 

Skevye: Traditions, traditions. Without our traditions why, our lives would be as shakey as.. as... a Tumblebrutus on the Pipe!!! 

Tumble: *on pipe: one leg goes one way, the other goes the other way...* 

*crack* 

Pouncie: oooh, that's gonna leave a mark 

Tumble: *high pitched* mommy *passes out* 

MT: Jenny, Skimble, go help him. 

*they do* 

MT: Um... why don't we take a break? 

*Much rejoicing, they all leave as fast as they can exept Jenny, Skimble and Tumble* 

*Fade out* 


	4. Matchmaker and crazyglue which I DO NOT ...

Disclaimer: Yes, during that break I purchased all the rights to CATS and Fiddler on the Roof! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyeh, if I owned CATS, the video would have the FULL Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer and Growltiger's Last Stand and it wouldn't mess up with the credits. If I owned Fiddler on the Roof, the song "The Rumour" would most definetely be in the video. So, I think you can plainly see that I own neither all I own is my little sparkle pen. 

Scene 2, Tumblebrutus on the Pipe 

MT: Ok, guys get back here! 

CATS: ... 

MT: Or else the next parody will be Annie 

CATS: *hurry back* 

MT: Jenny, Skimble, how's Tumble? 

Tumble: *high pitched* I'm FINE! 

Jenny: Until your tone get's back to normal, you are most certainly not fine! 

Tumble: *normal voice* Really, I am!!! 

Jenny: Can you walk? 

Tumble: MOM! 

Jenny:... 

Tumble: Fine, *walks, limping only slightly*  
  
Skimble: I don't think you're gonna be able to do that dance at the ball for a while. 

Tumble: WILL YOU GUYS SHUTTUP!!!!!! 

Jemi/Electra/Etccy/Vicci: *snicker* 

Tumble: Oh shuttup. 

MT: Right, well fortunately your character doesn't do much dancing until later so right now you can just be a townsperson... who doesn't dance. Let's start with the next scene, go!!! 

Vrintze: Mama, Jente the matchmaker is coming! 

Hodeltra: Maybe she's finally found a match for you Rietl! 

Jolde: From your mouth to Bast's ears! Children go outside and continue with your work, I want to talk to Jente alone. 

*Rietl, Hodeltra, Javah, Vrintze and Bielcetera leave as Jente walks in* 

Jente: Charming children, Jolde I'll find a match for every one of them! 

Jolde: Come in Jente! 

Jelly: Do I have to do this!?! It can be summed up so easily! 

MT:... but the audience has to know 

Pouncie: What audience? 

  
MT: The rest of you kitties! 

Tugger: But we don't really care! 

  
MT:... 

Jelly: Basically I tell 'Jolde' that the rich, old butcher Lasparagus-Wolfe wants to marry Rietl. She says she'll have Skevye talk to him. That's about it and now the audience knows. 

MT: Actually that is pretty much it. Funny how that got stretched into about ten minutes... Oh to heavyside with it! Girls just do your song. 

  
Rumple: Daw we 'ave ta? 

MT: Yes. I love this song! Go!!! 

  
Hodeltra: I wonder if Jente the matchmaker has found a match for you Rietl? 

Rietl: Jenta, Jenta, Jenta! 

Pouncie: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! 

MT: _ 

Hodeltra: Well somebody has to arrange the matches! Young people can't decide these things themselves! 

Javah: She might bring someone wonderfull! 

Hodeltra: Someone interesting! 

Javah: And important! 

Hodeltra: And well off! 

Matchmaker, matchmaker 

Make me a match 

Find me a find 

Catch me a catch 

Matchmaker, matchmaker 

Look through your bok 

And make me a perfect match! 

Javah: Matchmaker, matchmaker 

You bring the veil 

I'll bring the tom 

Slender and pale 

Jemima: Odd taste this one has... 

Javah: Bring me a ring 

For I'm longing to be 

The envy of all I see 

Hodeltra: For pappa 

Make him a scholar! 

Javah: For mamma 

Make him rich as a king! 

Both: For me 

Well 

I wouldn't holler if he were as handsome as anything! 

Matchmaker, matchmaker 

Make me a match 

Find me a find 

Catch me a catch 

Night after night in the dark  
I'm alone 

So find me a match 

Of my own 

Rietl: Since when are yaw interested een a match Javah? Oi thawt yaw 'ad yawr eye on yar books? 

Hodeltra: *giggle* 

Rietl: An' yaw 'ave yar eye on tha rabbi's san!!!! 

Hodeltra: Well why not? We have only one rabbi, he has only one son. Why shouldn't I want the best? 

  
Rietl: Becaws, yawr a gehl fram a poo' family saw woteva Jenta brings, yawll tike. Roigh' ? Af cawse roigh'! 

Hodeltra, Hodeltra 

'ave oi moide a match far yaw! 

'e's 'andsome! 

'e's young! 

Oll roigh' e's sixty-taw 

but e's a noice tom 

A good catch 

Traw? 

Traw! 

Oi promise yawll be 'appy 

An' even eef yawr not 

There's moare ta loife than tha'! 

Dawn ask me wot! 

Javah! Oi fawnd 'im 

Weel yaw boi a lucky broide! 

'e's 'andsome! 

'e's toll! 

Tha' is from soide ta soide 

But 'es a noice man, a good catch 

Roigh'? 

Roigh'! 

Yaw've 'eard 'es got a temper 

'e'll beat yaw every noigh' 

Bat awnly when e's soba 

Saw yawr oll roigh'! 

Deed ya think yawd get a prince? 

Javah: Well I'll find the best I can 

Rietl: Weeth naw dawry, naw money, naw family backgroun'... boi glad yaw've go' a tom! 

Javah: Matchmaker, matchmaker you know that I'm 

Still very young 

Please 

Take your time! 

  
Hodeltra: Up to this minute, I misunderstood 

That I could get stuck for good!... 

Electra: Hey, wait a minute... I'm stuck on something! *discovers the chair she just sat down on had Crazy-Glue (which I also don't own) on it* 

MT: All right! Who did this? 

Pouncie: *points to Tumble* 

Tumble: *points to Mungo* 

Mungo: *points to Admetus* 

Admetus: *points to Alonzo* 

Alonzo: *points to Tugger* 

Tugger: *points to Misto* 

Misto: *points to Plato* 

Plato: *points to Bomba* 

Bomba: *points to Cassi* 

  
Cassi: *points to Demeter* 

Deme: *points to Pouncie* 

Pouncie: *changes direction of finger and points at Munkus* 

Munkus: Huh? Wha? 

MT: MUNKUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Munkus: What? 

MT: Did you put Crazy-glue on Electra's chair? 

Munkus: What's crazy glue? 

MT: A human invention that found it's way into the junkyard somehow. 

Munkus: .... no..... 

MT: Then by process of elimination it was Pouncie! 

Pouncie: Huh? 

MT: You crazy-glued Electra to her chair!!!!! You crazy-glue-Electra-to-her-chair-er you! 

Pouncie: Ok you lost me at 'you' 

Electra: HELLO! I'm still stuck over here!!!! 

MT: *ignores her* Pouncie why did you do it? 

Pouncie: I didn't... at least I don't think I did. That depends. What is it that I don't think I think I didn't think I think I think that I don't think I did? 

MT: I..........don't..........know......... 

Electra: Could somebody get me off of here!?!?!?!  


MT: *sees her* Hey, Electra, did you know you're crazy-glued to a chair? 

Electra: YES I KNOW!!!! NOW COULD YA GET ME OFF!!!!!!!  


MT: This is a job for............................................ Seamus!!!! (A/N: I don't know if you read my bio, but Seamus is my little alter-ego/conscious/I can't really explain, lephruchaun in my head) 

Seamus: NO WAY! I am not appearing in one of your fics!!!! 

  
MT: You just did. 

Seamus:... 

MT: Now, Seamus! Use your lepruchaun-y brand of magic to unstick Electra! 

Seamus: Who's Electra? 

MT: The one that's crazy-glued to the chair! 

Seamus: Someone's crazy-glued to a chair? 

MT: YES! Now help her! 

Seamus: ok! *puff of smoke* 

Etccy: Hey... what smells like burned fur? 

Seamus: That's what it always smells like *smoke clears, Electra is unstuck* 

MT: Thanks Seamus!!!!! 

Seamus: *disappears* 

Pouncie: MT... can we take a break? My brain hurts. 

MT: Yeah, mine too. BREAK TIME!!!!!! 

Munkus: Jellicle cats can all rejoice! 

..... 

All: SHUTTUP MUNKUS!!!!!!!! 

*fade out* 


	5. If I were a Rich Tom and Skimble ticking...

Tumblebrutus on the Pipe 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Disclaimer: how many times do I have to tell you??? I do not own CATS or Fiddler on the Roof. Mungy will never be mine....unless....... *writes down some things on a memo pad and does a little shifty-eye thing* yes... that could work ... plan C of how to own Mungojerrie and Drew Varley.... the first that doesn't involve a time machine! 

Alonzo: You're a little TOO obsessed with Mungo 

Mungo: Yeeow just realoized thees naw??? 

hey what're you guys doing in the disclaimer??? 

Alonzo: *shrugs* I dunno.... we just are.... *shifty eyes* 

Munku: Can't handle all the SHIFTY EYES!!!!! *goes into a fetal position, sucking thumb* 

Alonzo/Mungo: o......k....... 

Deme: MACAVITY!!! 

All: SHUTTUP DEME!!!!!!! 

Jemi: where is Macavity anyway??? 

Electra: Don't you remember.... the polar bear circus..... 

All: *bow their heads respectively, exept Munku who is still in a fetal position* 

Will you guys get out of the disclaimer??? 

All: OK! *leave* 

*sigh* Ok bottom line: I don't own anything.... exept my DVDs and cast recordings 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

MT: There! Now that I've put my alter-ego thingiemadoodle in place the show can commence! 

All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO-...... huh? 

MT: In the disclaimer, I don't have a real name (well I do but it's not my pen name/alter ego name thingie) I'm just the narrator.... get it??? 

All: .... no... 

MT: Well that doesn't matter. We're up to a classic song from the show, If I Were a Rich Tom! 

Skimble: *sarcastically* oh boy 

MT: *glares* just get on with the song... hehe that sort of rhymes! 

Skevye: Dear Bast......... it's me, Margaret 

  
MT: _ Skimble, I expected better of you! You're supposed to be responsible! You know very well that you are playing a poor, Jewish, dairyman.... not some idiotic prepubescent girl! 

Skimble: ok ok ok! 

Skevye: Dear Bast, you made many poor cats. I know of course that it's no shame to be poor.... but it's no great honor either! So tell me, what would have been so horrible, if I were to have a small fortune? 

If I were a rich tom 

Yaha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha dum 

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum 

If I were a wealthy tom! 

I wouldn't have to work hard 

Yaha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha dum 

If I were a biddy biddy rich 

Yiedle deedle didle didle tom 

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen 

Right in the middle of the town 

A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below 

There could be one long staircase just going up 

And one even longer coming down 

And one more going nowhere, just for show! 

Electra: What a waste of good... um.... whatever you make staircases with! 

MT: Electra.... he's just dreaming ok? 

Deme: A blessing on your head Mazel Tov Mazel Tov, to see a daughter wed Mazel To- 

MT: DEM!!! NOT YET!!!! 

Deme: But you said he was dreaming! 

MT: I didn't mean dreaming like, asleep dreaming! I meant like imagining!.... Like how you imagine that Macavity can turn himself into a can of raviolios.... 

Deme: HE CAN!!!!  
  
MT: sure he can Deme... Skimble keep singing 

Skevye: I'd fill my yard with chicks- 

Tugger: COOL!!!! I didn't know people back then could be playcats!!! 

Jenny: KITTENS EARS!!!!! *runs around trying to "shield" the kittens* 

Etccy: OH MY EVERLASTING CAT!!!! DID TUGGER JUST SAY.... SOMETHING????!!!!??? 

Jemi: uh... yeah.... 

Etccy: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *passes out* 

MT: Tugger, he means chicks as in baby chickens. 

Tugger: oh.... I knew that..... 

Skevye: ahem! 

and turkeys and geese 

And ducks for the town to see and hear 

Squaking just as noisily as they can 

And each loud *imitates ducks, chickens, turkeys and geese* 

Kittens: *giggle exept Etccy, who's still unconscious* 

Skevye: Will land like a trumpet on the ear 

As if to say here lives a wealthy tom 

*sighs* 

  
If I were a rich tom 

Yaha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha dum 

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum 

If I were a wealthy tom 

I wouldn't have to work hard 

Yaha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha dum 

If I were a biddy biddy rich 

Yiedle deedle didle didle man 

I see my mate, my Jolde 

Looking like a rich tom's mate 

With a proper double chin 

Jenny: Are you saying I'm fat?!?!?!?! 

Skimble: What?!?! Of course not! I- 

Jenny: HOW COULD YOU???? *sobs in a little corner* 

Jelly: YEAH HOW COULD YOU???? *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Bomba: MEANIE!!!! *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Cass: *cuffs him on the ear* *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Electra: stupid insensitive.... *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Deme: Macavity! *she says this kind of like spitting it at him... can't explain... too tired * *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Etccy: *wakes up* *goes to comfort Jenny, not knowing why, but it seemed the proper thing to do* 

Vicci: *dirty look* *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Jemi: *walks by him, shakes her head and goes to comfort Jenny* 

Rumple: oaf! *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Tant: *mentally insulting him, then remembers he's not phsychic so she just goes to comfort Jenny* 

MT: How could you Skimble? *goes to comfort Jenny* 

Skimble: .... what'd I do? I WAS JUST READING MY SCRIPT!!!!! 

Toms: *open mouths, being that they ARE toms after all, no-one realizes what's wrong or what Skimble did*...... huh? 

Skimble: MT!!!! Don't you, at least, believe me????? 

MT: *glares at him and continues comforting Jenny* 

Jenny: *still sobbing* 

Seamus: Lord, what am I doing here AGAIN??? *sighs* We'll be back, after these, previously recorded, messages! 

~fade out~ 

~fade in to...~ 

DV: Do- 

MT: OMG!!!!!! DREW VARLEY!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

DV: *sighs* NO! I am a disembodied voice! 

Gus: I am Harry Potter!!!!!!! 

Jelly: Come on Gus, it's time for your medication! 

Gus: La la la la la la la la la *follows Jelly away* 

DV: Do you suffer from fates so cruel as.... poisoned raviolios? 

Random friend of mine: Yes!!! 

DV: Have you been whacked repeatedly with a CATS DVD because you dared to say that your boyfriend was hotter than Drew Varley? 

Another random friend of mine: Yes!!! 

DV: Do you like orange soda? 

  
ANOTHER random friend of mine: Ye-.... wait NO!!!!! 

  
DV: Then buy Chicken brand Chicken Nuggets! So good, they're as good as.... something.... really good..... 

~fade out~ 

~fade in to...~ 

*everything's back to normal and Skimble is continuing with his song* 

Skevye: Supervising meals to her heart's delight 

I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock 

Oy! What a happy mood she's in 

Screaming at the servants day and night! 

The most important toms in town will come to fawn on me! 

Skevye: They will ask me to advise them  
Like a Solomon the Wise 

If you please Reb Skevye 

Pardon me Reb Skevye 

Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes! 

Boi boi boi 

boi boi boi 

boi boi boi 

  
And it won't make one bit of difference 

If I answer right or wrong 

When you're rich, they think ya really know 

  
If I were rich I'd have the time that I lack  
To sit in the Sinagogue and pray 

And maybe, have a seat by the Eastern wall 

  
And I'd discuss the holy books 

With the learned toms 

Seven hours every day 

That would be the sweetest thing of all 

If I were a rich tom 

Yaha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha deeha dum 

All day long I'd biddy biddy bum 

If I were a wealthy tom 

  
Bast who made the lion and the lamp 

  
Electra: lamb 

Skimble: What was that? 

Electra: I was correcting you. The line is "Bast who made the lion and the lamb" 

Skimble: I don't think I like your tone missy... 

Electra: I was just saying... 

Skimble: backtalking now are we? 

Electra: NO!!! I was just- 

MT: Skimble just get on with your song. 

Skimble: fine 

Skevye: You decreed I should be what I am 

Would it spoil some vast eternal plan 

If I were a wealthy tom? 

Etccy: People put like, way too much emphasis on money these days! 

MT:.... Etccy... this was set in the early 1900's... 

Etccy: Well there was like, too much emphasis on money then too. 

Tant: She's right you know. 

Vicci: Yeah! There's like way too much emphasis (A/N I don't have my thesaurus ok?) on material things! 

*general murmurs of agreement exept for two...* 

Teazer: *nervously tries to conceal her pearls* 

Mungo: *whistles and tries to look innocent and completely melts MT* 

MT: Actually... um... material things are good! 

Bomba: What!?!? 

Cass: O.......k........ 

Deme: That's the dummest thing I've ever heard!!! Why do people even steal stuff!?!?! They're like...SO stupid!!!! 

Other Cats: *try to get Deme to shuttup without saying anything... it doesn't work* 

Deme: What!?!?! 

Other Cats: *simultaneously smack forheads and point to Mungo and Teazer* 

Mungo/Teazer (A/N not me, the cats): *look hurt* 

MT: *eyes well up with tears at seeing her beloved Mungo upset* HOW COULD YOU YOU YOU YOU.... MEANIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *huggles Mungo.... accidentally choking him in the process* 

Mungo: *gasp!* Can't *choke!* broithe! *gasp!* 

Deme: What'd I do? 

Bomba: *smacks her* 

Deme: Ouch!!!! 

Mungo: *choke* GOIS!!!!*cough*Oi*sputter* could *gasp* use *gag* some *wheeze* 'elp *cough* 'ere!!!!!! *gasp* 

Teazer: *whacks MT with a frying pan that just magically appeared out of nowhere and will magically disappear when she's done* 

MT: *comes back to senses... well as much as I hav anyway* Ok I'm good....yeah..... Why don't we just take a break huh? 

*and there was much rejoicing* 

CATS: Yayy!!!! 

Etccy: Hey Pounce! I'll race ya to the candy machine!!!!!!! 

Pouncie: OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

*they bounce off leaving everyone looking worried and scared out of their minds at what you get when you cross Etccy and Pounce with *da da dum* sugar...* 

Jenny: oh dear 

Jelly: *faints* 

Skimble: *gulps* 

Asparagus Jnr: Dear Bast.... 

MT: There's a candy machine!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! : D 

Cori: Uhm....... no? 

MT: THAT MEANS YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bounces off after Etccy and Pounce* 

Jenny: *faints* 

Jelly: *still unconscious* 

Skimble: *tries to run away but realizes there's no way out* 

Asparagus Jnr:.......................... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Thank yoy for your lovely reviews! 

Vicki and Teazer: Thanks you sooooo much for updating Bye Bye Birdie!!!!! *sighs dreamily at the thought of Mungo singing Put on a Happy Face* I loved the "How many times have we told you not to glue pets to the ceiling!" Was that in BBB?????? It's been a while since I've seen it... anyhoos I'm getting off-track here so basically thanks for updating and prompting me to do so too. Wow! I sounded semi-intelligent there!!!!!!!!!!!! *watches all the flying pigs and grins* Just as long as there aren't any *cow comes flying down from the sky* COWS!!!!!!!!!!! RETREEEEEEAT!!!!!!!!! HOW COME IT'S NEVER ANYTHING GOOD THAT FALLS OUT OF THE SKY????? IT'S ALWAYS COWS!!!! WHY NEVER DREW VARLEY???? *runs away from the cow bawling* 


	6. Meeting Merchik and a notebook

Tumblebrutus on the Pipe 

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Disclaimer: I thought we had established the fact that I don't own CATS or Fiddler on the Roof? Weren't you paying attention for the last few chapters??? You'd better go and reread them because I don't think you understood two words of them. Go ahead, I can wait 

*elevator Musak plays* 

You done? Good! Now you can read this chapter if you want to! Or you could click the back button on your browser to escape this nonsense. MAKE YOUR CHOICE WISELY! ahem 

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MT: 5, 8, 2, 199, 78, 4, 32... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back! Didja miss us?!?! Huh? Didja? Didja? Huh?!? 

Munku: As you can see, she's still on sugar-high, as are Etccy and Pouncie 

Etccy: *bounce bounce* No we're not!!!!!! *bounce bounce* 

Pouncie: SUGAR!!!!! SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR!!!!!!!!!! 

Tugger: *coughs* 

Etccy: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *bounces around the room giggling* 

Pouncie: *follows her lead and bounces around the room 

Jenny: Oh dear.... 

Skimble: Aww, they're gonna sleep tonight! 

  
MT: Now back to the question.... didja miss us?!?!?! Huh? Didja? Didja? Huh? 

Cass: Yeah MT, I'm sure they reeeeealy missed seeing a bunch of hostages perform a musical under force. 

MT: *through teeth* Shuttup Cass! *normally* Aha... she's just kidding folks! 

Misto: No she's not!!! 

Deme: We're slaves! Tell the people!!!! 

MT: Quiet you! *hits Deme with a shoe* hehe! I've always wanted to do that! 

Deme: Ouch! 

MT: *violin music starts playing* Why are you so mean to me? *eyes well up with tears* I'm just trying to provide some people with entertainment... granted it's not the best entertainment but... *sobs* why do you make it difficult for me? Do you not like making people happy? 

CATS: *lips quiver* 

Munku: ALL RIGHT!!!! 

Alonzo: We'll do the stupid play! 

  
MT: *violin music abruptly stops* *gets all evil looking* Excellent! *eerie music plays* 

Misto: How did we actually fall for that? 

MT: Quiet!!!!!!! Now, where did we leave off? 

Plato: Right at the end before we take our bows! 

MT: Yeah right! Ok um... right after If I Were a Rich Tom. This is the scene where they meet Merchik! This is your big debut Misto! 

Misto: I don't think I can handle the exitement 

MT: ..... *realizes he was being sarcastic* Shuttup! Ok now the people in this scene are Skevye, Merchik, Tendel, Cavruhm, Ramival, the Constable, Pollicle guy, and a few miscellaneous townstoms that will be, um..... Admetus, Alonzo, Tumble and.... Munku. 

Queens/Gus/Asparagus/Mungo: *point and laugh at the toms who are in this scene* 

Munku: I thought I was Myedka! 

MT: You are but we don't have enough toms! 

Jenny: *to Tumble* Are you SURE you're going to be ok dear? 

Tumble: *through gritted teeth* YES mom 

Jenny: Positive? You're gritting your teeth! 

Tumble: *sighs* YES mom! 

Jenny: Ok 

MT: GUYS!!!!!! Go on with the scene! 

Skevye: *walks by pulling his cart*  
  
Plato (i/c): *laughs* Skevye, Skevye, what happened to your horse? 

Skevye: Well, he decided to take the day off 

Plato: Ha ha! 

Skimble: Shuttup! 

  
MT: Guys.... 

Plato (i/c): Have a good Sabbath *laughs and goes away*  
  
Skevye: *ticked off* Thank you, your honor, thank you 

*general laughing among the townstoms* 

Cavruhm: *runs over to them* Look! Look in the paper!!! 

Tumble: Oooooooooh!!! Is it Supercat?!?! 

Cori:....no 

Tumble: The Great Rumpus Cat!?!?! 

Cori: um..... no..... 

Tumble: I wonder who the Great Rumpus Cat is anyway... do YOU know Addie? 

Addie: *shifty eye thing* Um...... noooo.... no of course not...... why would I know anything about it....... *shifty eye thing again* 

Tumble: I dunno... just wonderin' 

MT: Guys can we PLEASE continue with the scene? 

*general commotion of townstoms wanting to see the paper* 

Addie (i/c): Quiet! Stop barking like a pack of pekes! Let him talk!.... talk Cavruhm. 

Cavruhm: Well my paper got from the post office today like it does every week. Although usually it comes on a Thursday, sometimes it- 

Addie (i/c): Cavruhm, that's not talking! It's babbling!!! 

Pouncie: Just like MT!!! 

MT: Shut UP Pouncie!!! 

Pouncie: Well its true!!! You go on and on and on about absolutely nothing! 

MT: Do not! 

  
Pouncie: Do so! 

MT: Ok before this turns into one of those things where it's "do not" and "do so" for an entire page, why don't you guys just keep going with your scene. 

*more commotion to see the paper*  
  
Addie (i/c): QUIET! Go on Cavruhm 

Cavruhm: Well I was reading my paper, nothing very important, something about the crops in the Ukraine and this and that 

Addie (i/c): Cavruhm, Talk! 

Cavruhm: And then I saw this *holds out a notebook of MT's that has pictures of Mungojerrie and Drew Varley all over it*  
  
Townstoms: *snickersnort*  


Mungo: Wow! Tho's disturbin'! 

  
MT: What's so- *spots notebook* HEY!!!!!!! *grabs it away* What happened to the stunt newspaper I gave you?!?! 

  
Alonzo: He went on strike for a higher pay! 

MT: I don't believe you.... 

Alonzo: fine! Demeter over there heard someone crinkling the newspaper. Well, understandably, she thought it was Macavity and tore it to shreds. 

MT: Now THAT, I believe 

Deme: But it WAS Macavity! 

Bomba: *soothing Deme* No hun, it wasn't. Macavity went to train a polar-bear circus, remember? 

Deme:.... oh yeah.... ooops! Sorry! 

MT: That's ok Deme, but next time use one of YOUR notebooks! 

CATS: *snickergiggle*  
  
Electra: Can we say "obsessive"? *giggles*  
  
MT: At least I don't have pictures all over my room or something! I contain them to the notebook!.... wait a minute... you guys should just be running the scene. I can't believe we got so off-topic! GO!!! 

Addie (i/c): Alright, we all see it, now what does it say? 

Cavruhm: *fighting back laughter* "In a village called Rejenka (A/N I'm positive I butchered the spelling of that, don't kill me!) the Jellicles were evicted from their homes" 

Tendel: For what reason? 

Cavruhm: It doesn't say. Maybe the Pollicles wanted their land? Maybe there was a plague? 

Addie (i/c): May the Pollicles have their own plague! 

All (i/c): Amen! *spit* 

All (o/c): Ewwwwww! Get it off! Get it off!!!! *frantically try to "clean" themselves* 

MT: GUYS!!!! 

Tendel: ahem, What's the matter with you? Why don't you ever bring us some good news? 

Cavruhm: It's not my fault! I only read it! A heeding from the authorities! 

Alonzo (i/c): May the authorities grow like onions, with their heads in the ground! 

All (i/c): Amen! *spit* 

All (o/c): Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! Get it off! Get it off!!!! *frantically try to "clean" themselves* 

MT: GUYS!!!!!!! 

Merchik: What good will your cursing do? You stand around and ya curse and ya chater. And you don't DO anything! You'll all chatter your way into the grave! 

Tendel: Excuse me, you're not from this village? 

Merchik: No 

Tendel: Where are you from? 

Merchik: Kiev, I was a student in the University there 

All (i/c): *general "oh that's it"'s* 

Addie (i/c): Tell me, is that where they teach you how not to respect your elders? 

All (i/c): Yeah! 

Merchik: That's where I learned there's more to life than talk! *takes the now-imaginary newspaper* You should know what's going on in the outside world! 

Addie (i/c): Why should I break my head about the outside world? Let the outside world break it's own head! 

All (i/c): Right! 

Skevye: He's right, as the Good Book says "If you spit in the air, it lands in your face" 

Merchik:You can't close your eyes to the outside world! 

Skevye: He's right 

Tumble (i/c): He's right, he's right, they can't both be right! 

Skevye: You know something.... you're also right! 

*dishes them out imaginary milk and they leave exept Tendel who collects extra for his father* 

Skevye: So you're up from Kiev reb... eh... 

Merchik: Merchik 

Skevye: Merchik, so you're a newcomer here? As Abraham said, "I'm a stranger in a strange land" 

  
Tendel: Moses said that! 

Skevye: Ah, forgive me. As King David said, "I'm of slow speech and of slow tongue."  
  
Tendel: That was also Moses! 

Leccy: Does anyone else find it strange that TUGGER is playing the RABBI'S son? 

Tugger: What's that supposed to mean!?! 

Leccy: *stares* 

Tugger: I'm just as.... oh.... hey! 

MT: Guys!!!!!!!!! PLEASE get BACK to the SCRIPT!!!! 

Skevye:.... for a man with a slow tongue, he talked a lot! *dishes Merchik some imaginary milk* Here Reb Merchik, *breaks off a piece of imaginary bread* have a piece. 

Merchik: I have no money 

Skimble: Can't you just conjure up some money? 

Misto: Hey! Good idea! *gets ready to conjure up money* 

MT: NOOOOO! STOP!!!! Skimble, Mistofelees is magical, Merchik isn't. 

Skimble: Oh yeah. 

MT: Now get back to the thing! 

Merchik: And I'm not a begger 

Skevye: Oh take it. As a blessing from me to you. 

Merchik: *takes bread* Very well... for your sake! 

Skevye: Thank you. You know, it's no crime to be poor. 

Merchik: In this world, if the rich were criminals, then the whole world would come to be ours. 

Misto: YES!!! WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *notices the stares* HA.... ha.... haha?... I'll shuttup now 

MT: Good! 

Skevye: Oh, that would be nice. If they would agree, I would agree. 

Tendel: And who will make this miracle come to pass? 

Merchik: Cats, ordinary cats. 

Tendel: Like you? 

Merchik: Like me 

Skevye: Well until your golden day comes, Reb Merchik, how will you live? 

Merchik: By giving lessons to kittens. Do you have any kittens? 

Skevye: *sighs* I have five queen kittens. 

Merchik: Five!?! 

Tugger: Whoo! Somebody's keeping himself busy! 

MT: TUGGER SHUTTUP!!!!1 

Jenny: Think of the KITTENS!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: Get ON with it! 

Skevye: Queens 

Merchik: Well they should know. Queens are people- 

Tant: QUEEN POWER!!!!!!!!!!!! 

(Bomba, Cass, Jenny, Jelly, Leccy, Jemi, Deme, Vicci and Etccy join in): QUEEN POWER!!! 

Tumble: Weeeeee are the champions! Weeeeeeeeeee aaaaare the chaaaaaaampioooooooooooons!!! 

MT: Ok, Tumble, it kind of disturbs me that you know who Queen is and it disturbs me even more that you sing their songs. (A/N I'm not trying to insult any Queen fans out there! I'm just pointing out that it's strange that a _cat_ knows who they are and enjoys their music!) Ok keep going guys. 

Tendel: A radical!!! 

Skevye: Eh go away!!! 

Skimble: I've waited a looooooooong time to be able to say that! 

Tugger: Hey! 

MT: GUYS!!!! 

Merchik: I'd be willing to teach them! Open their minds to great thoughts! 

Skevye: Yeah? Well I'd like them to know about the Good Book... 

Merchik: Well the Bible has many lessons for our times! 

Skevye: Merchik, I'm a very poor tom but... food for lessons? 

Merchik: *nods, they shake on it* 

Skevye: Good! Good! Stay with us for the Sabbath! We don't eat like kings but... eh we don't starve! As the Good Book says, "When a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick!" 

Merchik: *laughs* 

  
Tendel: Where does the Book say that? 

Skevye: Well alright alright, it doesn't EXACTLY say that. But, somewhere in there, there's something about a chicken! Good Sabbath! 

Tendel: Good Sabbath *walks away* 

MT: Ok yay! We made it through that scene alive! Next scene! 

CATS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 

Alonzo: Can we skip it? 

MT: No way! This has Mungo in it!!! We're not skipping ANY scenes featuring him! 

Mungo: Aow... crap! 

Jenny: THINK of the KITTENS!!!!!!!!!! 

Kittens: *roll eyes* 

MT: JUST GO!!!!! 

Rietl/Hodeltra/Javah: *mime setting a table* 

Skevye: *walks in with Merchik* Good Sabbath kittens! 

Kittens: Good Sabbath pappa! 

Skevye: Children, this is Merchik, Merchik, this *motions towards Rietl* is my eldest queen 

Hodeltra/Javah: *giggle* 

Merchik: You have a pleasant queen 

Skevye: I have five pleasant queens! *hugs Bielcetera* This is mine 

Bielcetera: Good Sabbath pappa! 

Skevye: *hugs Vrintze* And this is mine! 

Vrintze: Good Sabbath pappa! 

Skevye: *hugs Javah* And this is mine! 

Javah: Good Sabath pappa! 

Skevye: *hugs Hodeltra* And this is mine! 

Moteljerrie: *walks in* 

Skevye: *hugs Rietl* And this is mine! 

Rietl: Good Sabbath pappa! 

Skevye: *turns to Moteljerrie* And this is- 

Mungo: *looks horrified* 

Skevye: Well, this is not mine 

Mungo: phew! 

Rietl/Hodeltra/Javah/Vrintze/Bielcetera: *giggle*  
  
Skevye: Merchik, this is Moteljerrie Camzoil 

Jolde: So! You did us a favor and came home! 

  
Skevye: Well... this is also mine. Jolde, this is Merchik from Kiev. He'll be staying with us for the Sabbath. He's a teacher! *to Vrintze and Bielcetera* Would you like to take lessons from him kittens? 

Vicci: well.... 

Etccy: ... no 

MT: GUYS! 

Vicci/Etccy: Fine! 

Vrintze/Bielcetera: Yes pappa! 

Merchik: I'm a very good teacher! 

Hodeltra: I once heard that the rabbi who must praise himself has a congregation of one 

Merchik: Your daughter is of quick and witty tongue! 

Tugger: Whoah! TMI!!!!! TMI!!!!!! 

MT: *slaps head* Tugger! He MEANS that she's clever! 

Tugger:....I knew that....*does that little flick-thing with his mane*  
  
Etccy: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *passes out* 

MT: *sighs* Jelly, bring Etccy over here, Tant, fill in for Etccy 

Tant: What's the point? Not like her character actually DOES anything! 

MT: Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! She might hear you! And besides, I don't really care. You're Bielkomile whenever Etccy's unconscious, ok? 

Tant: Fine *walks over to the performing cats* 

MT: Continue with it! 

Skevye: Well the wit she gets from me, as the Good Book says- 

Jolde: The Good Book can wait, get washed. 

Skevye: The tongue she gets from her mother 

Jolde: Moteljerrie, I suppose you'll be staying with us too? 

Moteljerrie: If I- 

Jolde: Of course, *sarcastic* another blessing! Rietl, bring in the small table and Javah, get the chairs from outside. Kittens, finish dressing! *to Merchik* You can go wash up in the well. Hodeltra, go help them [the kittens] Hurry! Hurry kittens! It's almost Sabbath! *everyone leaves she goes over to Skevye* Skevye, I've something to say to you. 

Skevye: Why should today be any different? 

Jolde: _ Skevye, I've something to tell you! 

*this is supposed to be in a different room than Skevye and Jolde* 

Moteljerrie: Roitl, Oi've somefin ta tell ya! 

Rietl: Jenta wos 'ere! 

Moteljerrie: Oi knaw- 

Rietl: But wot eef thay foind someone? Then there'll boi a match! An' then eet'll boi taw loite far us! 

Moteljerrie: Bu' Roitl! Oi've fawnd someone 'oo'll sell moi 'is used sewing machoine! Saw moibe een a few weeksm oi'll 'ave soived enuff ta boi it! 

Tugger: Sewing machine!?!?! 

MT: He's a TAILOR!!! 

Tugger: *snickersnort* 

MT: *suddenly seems very very tall* Got a problem with that?!?! 

Tugger: *gulp* no! 

MT: *looks normal again* Good! Now let them go on with their scene! 

Rietl: A few woiks moight boi taw loite! 

Jolde: Lasparagus-Wolfe wants to speak to you. 

Skevye: The butcher? What is it about? 

Jolde: I don't know, but he says it's important! 

Skevye: What could be important? I've nothing for him to slaughter! 

Jolde: After the Sabbath, see him! Talk to him! 

Skevye: If he's thinking of buying my new milk cow, he can forget it! 

Jolde: Talk to him! 

Skevye: Shhh! *says a prayer thingie* 

Moteljerrie: Wot else cen oi daw? 

Rietl: Yeeow cen osk moi father for moi paw tanoigh' Ofta' tha Sabbath! 

  
Moteljerrie: But woi should 'e consider moi naw!?! Oi'm awnly a poor toiler! 

Rietl: An' oi'm awnly tha kitten of a poor meelkman! 

Moteljerrie: But eef yawr fatha says "naw" tho's eet! Tho's foinal!.... 'e'll yell at moi.... Oi'm just a poor toiler! 

Rietl: Moteljerrie, even a poor toiler ees entoitled ta some 'appiness! 

Griz: IF YOOU TOUCH ME, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT HAAPINESS IS! LOOK A NEEEEEEEEW DAAAAAAAAAAAAY HAS BEGUUUUUUUN!!!!!! 

MT: *looks ready to explode* GRIZ!!!! WHY DO YOU INSIST ON INTERRUPTING ALL OF MUNGO'S SCENES!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Pouncie: Uh-oh, that was ALL in caps lock! She must be really mad! 

MT: GRIZ!!! GO BACK TO THE HEAVYSIDE LAYER BEFORE I SEND YOU THERE!!!! 

Griz: *disappears* 

MT: *calms down a bit* Ok, get back to it guys 

Moteljerrie: Tho's true.... 

Skevye: *finishes prayer*  
  
Jolde: Amen. Now a tom wants to speak to you! The least you can do is TALK to him! 

Skevye: I don't want to ta- 

Jolde: TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Skevye: ALL RIGHT!!!!!! After the Sabbath, I'll talk to him  
  
Pouncie: Anyone else notice how good Jenny is with this part? 

Kittens: *snickergiggle* 

MT: SHUTTUP AND GET ON WITH IT!!  


Moteljerrie: Oll roigh'. Ofta tha Sabbath, Oi'll talk to 'im. 

Rietl: *kisses him*  
  
Munku: Uh... that wasn't in the script.... 

MT: *eyes start to glow red again* 

Munku: And I'm ok with that! 

*Moteljerrie and Rietl join Skevye and Jolde* 

Skevye: It's getting late. Where is everybody? 

Rietl: Oi dawn't knaw pappa *motions for Moteljerrie to ask him* 

Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya, 

Skevye: *calling for the kittens and Merchik*  
  
Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya? 

Skevye: *calling for the kittens and Merchik*  
  
Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya? 

Skevye: *turns around* Yes, what is it Moteljerrie? 

Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya? 

Skevye: Yes? 

Moteljerrie: Reb Skevya? 

Skevye: Yes? 

Moteljerrie: *mouth moves but nothing comes out* 

MT: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *drools* 

Pouncie: *hands me a bucket* 

Plato: *clocks me with the same frying pan Teazer used* 

MT: Ok, I'm good, I'm good 

Skevye: YES??? What is it Moteljerrie!?!? 

Moteljerrie: uh.... good Sabbath! 

Skevye: Good Sabbath... 

Rietl: *looks upset* 

Skevye: Hurry! 

Jolde: Hurry kittens! Hurry! 

*they all gather 'round the table*  
  
MT: Yay! I love this song! 

Skevye/Jolde: 

May the EC protect and defend you 

May He always shield you from shame 

May you come to be 

In Heavyside a shining name 

Pouncie: What does that mean? 

MT: SHUTTUP! 

Skevye/Jolde: May you be like Ruth and Like Esther 

May you be deserving of praise 

Strengthen them O Bast 

And keep them from the stranger's ways 

Skevye: May Bast bless you 

And grant you long lives 

  
Jolde: May EC fufill our Sabbath prayer 

For you 

May Bast make you 

Good mothers and mates 

Skevye: May He send you husbands who will care 

For you 

Misto: Wait! Even me and Mungo?!?! 

MT: The prayer is SUPPOSED to be for their DAUGHTERS!!! Not the two unexpected guests!!! 

Skevye/Jolde: May EC protect and defend you 

May EC preserve you from pain 

Favor them O Bast 

With happiness and peace 

Oh hear our Sabbath prayer 

Amen 

MT: Ok that was good guys! And NOW we may take another break! 

Etccy: *wakes up* 

CATS: *run away as fast as they can* 

MT: Hehehehehe CANDY MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs off giggling to the candy machine* 

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Thank you to my first reviewer.. um.... darnit what was your name? Well you know who you are! I'll mention you after the NEXT chappie! Sorry! I feel so bad now! Anyhoo I believe it was along the lines of Maureen_Stover.... or something! ACH! I'm so embarrassed!!!! *hangs head in shame* Also, thanks Vicki and Teazer for updating Birdie! and of course for reviewing this! Oh and of course, thank you Sandy the hyper-active kitten *huggles Mungo plushie* for the review and the plushie and *rereads review* GASP!!!!!! A Tugger/Misto story??? *eyes get very big* weawwy??? this is wike a dweam come twue!!!!!!!! (just kidding, you don't have to write a Tugger/Misto story if you don't want to... but if you do want to....hehe) So thank you to all reviewers!!!! 


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